Me: So do you like Obama?
Karen: He's alright...
Me: What do you think about the health care reform?
Karen: I... well I... ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Karen begins howling at the moon like a rabid dog.
She then dies
Me: So you don't like health care?
Karen (dead): ...
Me: That's unfortunate... you shouldn't get so worked up about it... demonstrates the irony...
Monday, August 10, 2009
Bruce Banter, 34
Me: So you're doing well.
Bruce: Definitely.
Me: Can I ask you about health care?
Bruce: Don't ask me about health care.
Me: Why not?
Bruce: You wouldn't like me when I talk about health care.
Me: Well I need to... for journalistic integrity.
Bruce: No.
Me: What do you think about health care?
Bruce starts convulsing and his muscles begin to grow. He turns bright bright green.
Bruce: Health Care Smash! BRUCE SMASH! SOCIALIST! HEALTH CARE SOCIALIST! SOCIALIST SMASH! NO! ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BRUCE SMASH! BRUCE SMASH! ARRRGGGHHH!!!!
He then ate a helicopter
He looked like this:
Bruce: Definitely.
Me: Can I ask you about health care?
Bruce: Don't ask me about health care.
Me: Why not?
Bruce: You wouldn't like me when I talk about health care.
Me: Well I need to... for journalistic integrity.
Bruce: No.
Me: What do you think about health care?
Bruce starts convulsing and his muscles begin to grow. He turns bright bright green.
Bruce: Health Care Smash! BRUCE SMASH! SOCIALIST! HEALTH CARE SOCIALIST! SOCIALIST SMASH! NO! ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BRUCE SMASH! BRUCE SMASH! ARRRGGGHHH!!!!
He then ate a helicopter
He looked like this:
Jeremy Johnson, 44
Me: So how long have you lived in Tampa?
Jeremy: Born and raised!
Me: Awesome, and things are good?
Jeremy: Yep things seem pretty great down here... Florida is really doing alright.
Me: How do you feel things are going in the nation?
Jeremy: Pretty decently.
Me: President Obama?
Jeremy: I think he's doing a stand up job... you know he faces a lot of tough decisions in his...
Me: (interrupting) What are your thoughts on health care?
Jeremy stops speaking and his pupils begin to dilate
Jeremy: AAAARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! READ THE BILL! READ THE BILL! READ THE BILL! SMASH SMASH SMASH! I ATE A PUPPY LAST NIGHT BECAUSE OF HEALTH CARE! EVIL! EVIL! I'VE KILLED THREE BABIES!!! ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! TERRORISM HAS WON! TERRORISM HAS WON! HEALTH CARE! RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHHH! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
He throws a chair through a window
Me: What about foreign policy?
Jeremy: Oh it seems to be going well.
Jeremy: Born and raised!
Me: Awesome, and things are good?
Jeremy: Yep things seem pretty great down here... Florida is really doing alright.
Me: How do you feel things are going in the nation?
Jeremy: Pretty decently.
Me: President Obama?
Jeremy: I think he's doing a stand up job... you know he faces a lot of tough decisions in his...
Me: (interrupting) What are your thoughts on health care?
Jeremy stops speaking and his pupils begin to dilate
Jeremy: AAAARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! READ THE BILL! READ THE BILL! READ THE BILL! SMASH SMASH SMASH! I ATE A PUPPY LAST NIGHT BECAUSE OF HEALTH CARE! EVIL! EVIL! I'VE KILLED THREE BABIES!!! ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! TERRORISM HAS WON! TERRORISM HAS WON! HEALTH CARE! RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHHH! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
He throws a chair through a window
Me: What about foreign policy?
Jeremy: Oh it seems to be going well.
I knew I had to when I saw this...
I just had to interview some of these people... to get their thoughts on certain matters...
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